Mother’s Day and Mixed Emotions - When the Day Feels Complicated

by Suzie Booth, Psychotherapist, (MSc. MBACP accred.)

Every year the same images begin to appear...

Cards covered in flowers. Breakfast trays in bed. Photos of smiling families gathered around a table.

For many people, Mother’s Day is an opportunity for gratitude and celebration. A chance to say thank you, to pause and acknowledge the women who have loved, raised, supported and guided us.

But for many others, the day is far more complicated.

Mother’s Day can hold joy and grief at the same time. Love and longing. Gratitude and pain.

And it’s important that we make space for that too.

Because Mother’s Day isn’t the same for everyone.

When Your Mother Is No Longer Here

For those who have lost their mother, Mother’s Day can feel like a quiet ache, or an excruciating pain.

Sometimes it’s the big things; the absence of a phone call, the empty chair, the traditions that now feel different.

Other times, it’s the small things; a shop display, a message saying “Don’t forget Mother’s Day,” a reminder that the person who once filled that role is no longer here.

Grief doesn’t follow a schedule, but days like this can inflame it.

You might find yourself missing her deeply. Or remembering complicated parts of the relationship. Or feeling grateful and sad all at once.

All of it is valid.

When the Relationship Was Difficult

Not everyone grew up with a mother who was safe, nurturing, or emotionally available.

For some people, Mother’s Day brings up painful memories or complicated feelings about a relationship that never quite provided what was needed.

It can be difficult when the world assumes that everyone has a mother they want to celebrate.

Sometimes the most honest response is not celebration, but acknowledgement of what was missing.

And recognising the strength it took to grow despite that absence.

When You Long to Be a Mother

For those navigating infertility, pregnancy loss, or the deep longing to become a parent, Mother’s Day can be incredibly painful.

A day that is intended to celebrate motherhood can instead highlight a hope that hasn’t yet been fulfilled.

It can feel isolating when social media fills with celebrations while you carry a quieter grief.

If this is your experience, please know that your pain deserves space too.

When Being a Mother Is Hard

And then there are those who are mothers, but who find the experience far more difficult than they expected.

Parenting can be beautiful and meaningful, but it can also be exhausting, overwhelming, lonely, and relentless.

Motherhood often asks more of us than we were prepared for. Many mothers carry an invisible load; the mental lists, the emotional labour, the constant responsibility.

So when Mother’s Day arrives, some mothers feel appreciation and warmth.

Others feel tired, overstretched, or quietly wondering why something that is supposed to feel joyful sometimes feels so heavy.

Both can exist at the same time.

Holding Space for the Mixed Experience

The truth is that motherhood, and our relationships with our mothers, are rarely simple.

They are layered with history, expectations, love, disappointment, sacrifice, gratitude and grief.

Mother’s Day tends to show us only one version of that story.

But the real experience is far more complex.

If this day feels joyful for you, I hope you get to celebrate and feel appreciated.

If it feels tender, heavy, or bittersweet, you are not alone.

And if it’s simply another ordinary day where you are doing the best you can, that counts too.

However you experience Mother’s Day, your feelings are valid.