Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work When You’re Overwhelmed

by Suzie Booth, Counsellor/Psychotherapist (MSc. MBACP, accred).

January arrives with a familiar message...

Set goals. Make changes. Improve yourself. 'New year, new you.'

For many of us, though, this message doesn’t really feel motivating, it feels heavy and pressurising. Especially if you’re already tired, stretched thin, or carrying a lot.

So what if this year, instead of resolutions, we aimed for relief?

Resolutions don’t help when you’re overwhelmed

New Year’s resolutions usually start with one question...

“What should I improve?”

But when life already feels full, this question can turn into:

• Another thing to get right

• Another way to measure yourself

• Another opportunity to feel behind before the year has really begun

  
  

Resolutions often assume you have spare capacity; more time, more energy, more motivation, when in reality, many people are already operating at or near their limit.

If that’s you, the problem isn’t a lack of discipline or willpower. It’s that adding more is the opposite of what you need.

Relief instead of self-improvement

Rather than asking what you should improve this year, try beginning with three different questions:

1. What’s draining me most right now? This doesn’t need to be dramatic or life-changing. Just honest. Is it constant decision-making? Overcommitment? Emotional labour? Lack of rest?

2. What could make life 5% easier? Not 50%. Not 'fix everything'. Just a small shift that would slightly reduce pressure.

3. What do I need less of this year? Less rushing. Less self-criticism. Less comparison. Less obligation.

These questions move the focus away from fixing yourself and towards listening to yourself.

'Relief-based intention'

Instead of a resolution that adds something new, consider choosing one relief-based intention; something that reduces load rather than increases it.

A relief-based intention might sound like:

• “I’m allowed to rest without earning it.”

• “I’m letting go of perfection and aiming for ‘good enough.’”

• “I’m going to carry less of everything alone.”

• “This year, I’m reducing unnecessary pressure, even if that feels uncomfortable at first.”

  
  

These intentions don’t require more effort. They require permission.

You don’t need to be better, you need to be supported

So many people believe that if they were just more organised, calmer, or more motivated, life would feel easier.

But overwhelm isn’t a personal failure. It’s often a sign that you’re carrying too much for too long without enough support.

Relief doesn’t come from becoming a 'better' version of yourself. It comes from creating conditions where life feels more sustainable.

If even this feels like too much

If choosing an intention feels overwhelming in itself, It may be a sign that what you need right now isn’t change, but steadiness. Not growth, but grounding. Not a plan, but compassion.

You don’t have to transform your life this January. You’re allowed to make it just a little lighter.

As this new year begins, perhaps the question isn’t:

“What should I resolve to do?”

But instead:

“What would bring me a little more relief right now?”