Parental Mental Health Day: Finding Balance in the Weight of Parenting

by Suzie Booth, Counsellor/Psychotherapist (MSc. MBACP accred.)

This year, Parental Mental Health Day (30th January) is about inviting us to pause and notice something that many parents struggle with; balance.

Not the idea that everything feels calm, spacious, and under control.

But the everyday reality of holding so many competing demands at once; caring for children, managing work, keeping relationships going, running households, and trying to stay emotionally upright in the process.

For many parents, life doesn’t feel balanced at all. It feels weighted. Heavy on responsibility. Light on rest. Full of noise, needs, and internal pressure.

What do we actually mean by 'balance'?

Balance in parenting is often misunderstood as doing more for yourself . But most parents I work with really are trying, but they’re already stretched thin.

Real balance isn’t about adding more tasks or expectations. It’s about how much you’re carrying, how long you’ve been carrying it, and whether there’s anywhere for that weight to be set down, even briefly.

It’s about noticing:

• How much emotional labour you’re holding

• How often you stay in 'coping mode' without pause or restoration

• How rarely your own needs get equal consideration

The invisible load parents carry

A lot of parental strain doesn’t show on the outside. It’s the constant mental tracking; remembering, anticipating, planning, adjusting.

It’s the emotional regulation; staying calm, patient, reassuring, even when you’re tired, overwhelmed, or running on empty.

It’s the unspoken belief that you should be able to manage it all, and the guilt or self‑doubt that creeps in when you can’t.

When we talk about parental balance, we need to name this invisible labour. Because without acknowledging it, parents are left feeling as though they’re failing at something that was never realistically sustainable.

Why parental mental health gets overlooked

Parental mental health is often only noticed when things reach crisis point.

Burnout. Breakdown. Not coping anymore.

But for many parents, the struggle is quieter than that. It shows up as chronic exhaustion and a sense of numbness or irritability. It's feeling emotionally distant from yourself, or from others and the ongoing sense of having to keep going, even when there’s nothing left in the tank.

Parental Mental Health Day matters because it shifts the focus earlier, to before crisis. And it reminds us that parents’ emotional wellbeing is not optional or secondary; it directly shapes family life, relationships, and how safe and supported everyone feels.

Balance isn’t about doing more; it’s about doing differently

One of the most unhelpful messages parents receive is that the answer lies in trying harder.

In reality, balance often begins with permission.

Permission to:

• Acknowledge that this season is genuinely demanding

• Stop judging yourself for feeling overwhelmed

• Let go of unrealistic expectations

• Accept support without feeling weak or guilty

Balance might look like softening standards.

It might look like fewer battles.

It might look like choosing what matters most, and allowing other things to be 'good enough'.

And sometimes, balance simply means being allowed to say; this is hard, and that makes sense.

A gentler question to ask yourself

Instead of asking, “Why am I struggling?”, try asking...

“What am I being asked to carry right now?”

And then...

“Is there anything that could make this feel even slightly lighter?”

Not perfect. Not fixed.

Just lighter.

That’s often where change begins.

On Parental Mental Health Day

This Parental Mental Health Day isn’t about telling parents what they should do.

It’s about recognising the weight of modern parenting, emotionally, mentally, and relationally, and creating space for honesty, compassion, and support.

If today offers anything, let it be this reminder...

You are not failing. You are responding to a role that asks a lot. And your mental health matters, not as an afterthought, but as part of the foundation.

If you’re a parent feeling overwhelmed, depleted, or quietly struggling, you’re not alone. Support exists, and it doesn’t require you to be at breaking point to deserve it. Check out my parenting page for more support.