What does grief, loss and bereavement feel like?

We tend to think of grief, loss and bereavement as a process that we go through when somebody passes away, but it's actually a process that is triggered by lots of different losses throughout our lives. Examples of that could be the loss of a loved one, a pet, a baby, a miscarriage, but also the loss of a friendship, a job, financial security, a sense of safety after a trauma, a family home, a relationship breakdown or a divorce.

It is thought that there are 5 predominant emotions people experience in grief. And it’s important to say that they are NOT the only emotions you might experience…

Disbelief

It can be really difficult to actually be able to accept that someone or something has gone from our lives. We might feel numb or not want to acknowledge that it's happened. A lot of people say that they just expect somebody to come walking back in through the door; really finding it difficult to accept what's happened.

Anger

It can also make us feel really angry that we have lost someone or something has gone. We might feel angry with ourselves, with the world, with doctors, with our manager, or with perhaps the person who's passed away. It's really difficult to accept that somebody has gone and it feels like an injustice and it feels like it's not fair. So, we often want something or someone to blame for it.

Sadness

Probably the most universally experienced symptom of grief is sadness. You might experience crying and feeling upset, but also deep deep feelings of despair, hopelessness, loneliness; a yearning for that thing or that person.

Guilt

Something that comes hand-in-hand with grief is guilt. Were there things that you feel like you should have done or said to somebody, ways that you could have prevented the loss? Or guilt about feelings that you might have had since the loss. There can be feelings of relief when we lose something and then we tend to feel guilty about feeling relieved.

Fear

With loss comes change and change quite often makes us feel fearful. What is life going to be like now? Can I possibly survive without that person or that thing? What about the responsibilities that I now carry? The death of a loved one can often trigger thoughts and feelings about our own mortality or the fear of future losses.

And then there are physical symptoms that can come with grief as well as emotional ones.

Fatigue - feeling just so tired and so drained, finding it impossible to get out of bed or get through the day.

Nausea - feeling sick to your stomach. And then linked to that is weight loss or weight gain. Weight gain if you're comforting yourself through eating and weight loss if you're finding it really difficult to stomach eating anything.

Lowered immunity; becoming much more susceptible to colds and viruses because you're struggling and your body is under strain and also because you're not looking after yourself particularly well.

Aches and pains within the body

Insomnia - finding it really difficult to get to sleep.

So that's a really quick overview of what you may experience emotionally and physically when you're grieving. Next post we'll be thinking a little bit more about the stages that people go through when they're grieving…