Everything they do seems to annoy you.
They sit down while you're still doing things and you immediately notice.
They leave something out and you're thinking, "Of course. Another thing for me to deal with".
They ask you a perfectly reasonable question and somehow even the way they've asked it irritates you.
Perhaps you're constantly thinking about how much more you do.
Or you've started keeping a quiet mental tally of who gets more sleep, more freedom, more time alone, more of their old life.
Maybe you're on the other side of it...
You feel like you can't do anything right. You're constantly being corrected or criticised, so increasingly you think, "What's the point?" You feel like you've lost your place in the family — and you're pretty angry about that too.
And the worst bit?
You might not even know how you feel about your partner anymore.
You don't particularly want them touching you.
You don't miss them.
You look at them and mostly feel irritated.
And you're starting to wonder:
Is this just what our relationship is like now?
It doesn't have to stay like this.
But we're not going to fix it by telling you to have more date nights or communicate better.
Because if you're furious that your partner gets to sit down while you're still sorting everything out, you probably don't need a date night.
You need to work out why that moment makes you so angry.
Is it because you genuinely never get to stop?
Because you've asked for things to change and nothing has?
Because you're still angry about how alone you felt when the children were tiny?
Because you've both got so used to defending yourselves that neither of you feels understood anymore?
Or because parenting itself has taken far more from you than you've ever really admitted?
Once you know what you're actually angry about, you can stop fighting about the latest tiny thing and start dealing with the thing that's really wrong.
Imagine if it didn't feel like this all the time.
Not because you've magically become endlessly patient with each other.
But because you understand why certain things make you so bloody angry.
You can say what the actual problem is instead of it coming out as another sarcastic comment or row.
You can work out whether things really are unfair, and what would make them fairer.
You can stop assuming the worst of each other quite so quickly.
You can recognise the same argument before you're halfway through having it again.
And perhaps there's enough room for some of the other feelings to start coming back too.
Warmth. Affection. Enjoying each other. Wanting to tell them something. Feeling like you're actually on the same side. That's what we're working towards.
Inside the Mini Mastermind
Seven short chapters. One therapeutic journey.
Why am I so angry with you?
Why something as small as a cup beside the dishwasher can suddenly represent everything.
Am I actually angry with you, or with parenting?
Because sometimes the person standing next to us gets blamed for everything we've lost.
So what actually needs to change?
What needs talking about, what needs acknowledging, and what needs to be genuinely different in your everyday life.
Do I even love you anymore?
What happens when you've been angry for so long that it's difficult to feel much else.
Are things
actually fair?
What you're both doing, remembering, worrying about, giving up and carrying - including the things neither of you sees.
Was this already happening before kids?
What genuinely changed when you became parents, and what got much harder.
Why do we keep ending up here?
How one person's anger, criticism or taking over can collide with the other's defensiveness or withdrawal.
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You'll also get The Resentment Reset
A practical guide to help you take what you're hearing and apply it to your relationship.
Because I don't want you to finish an hour of videos thinking:
Well, that was interesting.
I want you to be able to say:
This is what I'm actually angry about.
This is what I need you to understand.
And this is what needs to change.
The Resentment Reset is included in your £24 purchase.
And you can do it without your partner.
You can watch alone.
You can both watch separately.
Or you can sit down and work through it together.
So if you're currently thinking, "This sounds great but there is absolutely no chance I'm getting my partner to watch a relationship course with me" - you don't need to.
You can start with you.
If you both want to use it, one purchase is enough.
Hi, I'm Suzie
I'm a psychotherapist and couples therapist, and I work with lots of couples who's relationship has become much harder since having children.
They're keeping score. They're defensive. They're irritated. They don't feel appreciated. They don't feel wanted. And they're starting to worry about what all of that means.
This Mini Mastermind takes the work I find myself doing around resentment with couples and gives you somewhere to start before another six months or another year passes with you both getting more pissed off with each other.
You don't need to wait until you're considering leaving.
If you're already unhappy, that's enough.
You don't need to know whether you still love your partner enough.
You don't need to know whether your relationship can be fixed.
And you definitely don't need to have worked out who's fault all of this is.
Start with:
Why am I so angry?
What's actually happened between us?
And what would need to be different for this relationship to feel better?
I Resent My Partner - Now What?
7 short videos · Around 60 mins · Resentment Reset Guide · Watch alone or together · Instant lifetime access
Less: Everything you do pisses me off.
More: We can finally do something about it.
